January 11, 2014

ten years

my dad passed away ten years ago today. it was a middle of the night phone call from the funeral home, not the hospital where he had been for the previous few days, nor the skilled care facility he was living in. i wasn't supposed to find out that way. the poor woman on the phone naturally assumed i already knew, she had no idea she was the one breaking the news. it wasn't the way it was supposed to be, but most of the previous year had felt like things weren't the way they were supposed to be. twenty three year olds aren't usually charged with the care of an ailing parent and faced with the decisions that brings. but life doesn't always happen the way we expect it to, in fact, it rarely ever does.

this all happened back in the days before social media, when people communicated through the ancient art of mass e-mail. i sometimes wish i had been blogging back then so i would have some sort of record of what happened during that crazy year. but it's probably just as well that i don't. maybe it's better to not remember every detail, every hard decision, every feeling of uncertainty. besides, i don't think my dad would want to be remembered for that last year of his life anyway. the lifetime of memories before that year were more important.

my dad wasn't perfect, but he was still my dad.  

today we went to the funeral of a close friend of the dyer's. their families grew up together, took vacations together and have more hilarious stories than i can keep track of. it's going to be a hard year for them. they've lost a husband, a dad and a papa bug. life doesn't always turn out the way we expect it to, and sometimes life is just really, really hard. but God is still good. of that we can be sure.

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