my life in a nursing home...

June 05, 2009

today was my last day at john knox village. it was bittersweet. i just celebrated my three year anniversary (officially making it my longest lasting job to date) and though the job has had its share of annoyances over the years, it also provided many fond memories.

i will miss my residents. i will miss the way they make me laugh and the sweet things they say. i'll miss they way they will sing and dance with you when they're in a good mood. i might even miss the way they make mean faces and occasionally shout at you when they're cranky.

funny things happen when you work with older people, especially the ones who are a few fries short of a happy meal, if you know what i mean. i tried to keep track of some of the funnier stories in a document i like to call "my life in a nursing home". i've shared some
fun memories and funny stories in the past, and in honor of my last day, would like to amuse you with a sampling of the conversations that occur with our beloved residents...

me: would you like to hear some keyboard music today?
resident: what?
me: would you like to hear keyboard music?
resident: i can't understand what you're saying.
me: keyboard music.
resident: i should take a laxative.
me: okay then.

amber: robert, are you a veteran?
resident: yes
amber: what branch did you serve in?
resident: i don't know
amber: i heard that you served in the army
resident: that's definitely not true.
(editors note: it actually is true)

joyce: look what the bird did today
(shows me where the bird pooped on the back of her shirt)
me: gross
resident: what happened
me: ruby made a mess on joyce’s shirt
resident: you should just shoot it

amber: frank, would you like some fruit?
resident: no, i would like a suppository.

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