lent: being still

solitude. silence. peace. these are good things. things i appreciate. things i enjoy. but for some reason, i rarely make time for them. the lure of surfing the internet, mindless television or just plain busyness always seem to override my best intentions.

during lent i am making an effort to slow down. to rearrange my schedule and set aside a bit of time each day to be quiet. i've figured out that the best time of day for me is right when i get home from work. before i turn on the computer or get sucked into all the little 'things' that take up my time.

i sit down by the window and light a candle. at the minimum my routine consists of reading the scripture for the week (from my church's lent guide) and reading a piece of liturgy from the ash wednesday service (see below). some days i linger, taking extra time to read, pray or just sit and think. other days i just do my readings and go on with the day. either way, i am loving this discipline. taking a moment to be calm, to correct my thoughts and to focus on what is really important.

most merciful God, father of our Lord Jesus Christ,

we confess that we have sinned in thought, word and deed.

we have not loved you with our whole heart, mind and strength.

we have not loved our neighbor as ourselves.

we have not forgiven others, as we have been forgiven.

Lord, have mercy.

we have been deaf to your call to serve, as Christ served us.

we have not been true to the mind of Christ.

we have grieved your Holy Spirit.

Lord, have mercy.

we confess to you Lord all our past unfaithfulness;

the pride, hypocrisy and impatience of our lives.

Lord, have mercy.

our self-indulgent appetites and ways,

and our exploitation of other people.

Lord, have mercy.

our anger at our own frustration

and our envy of those more fortunate that ourselves.

Lord, have mercy.

our intemperate love of worldly goods and comforts

and our dishonesty in daily life and work.

Lord, have mercy.

our negligence in prayer and worship

and our failure to commend the faith that is in us.

Lord, have mercy.

accept our repentance Lord for the wrongs we have done,

for our blindness to human need and suffering,

and our indifference to injustice and cruelty.

accept our repentance, Lord.

for all false judgments, for uncharitable thoughts

towards our neighbors and for our prejudice

and contempt towards those who differ from us.

accept our repentance, Lord.

for our waste and pollution of your creation

and our lack of concern for those who come after us.

accept our repentance, Lord.

restore us, good Lord, and let your anger depart from us.

favorably hear us, for your mercy is great.

accomplish in us the work of your salvation,

that we may show your glory in the world.

by the cross and passion of your Son our Lord,

bring us with all your saints to the joy of his resurrection.

Read more

lent: self denial

alternatively titled the rice and beans experiment.

a month or so ago i was blog surfing and came across the story of a family who took a one month challenge to eat beans and rice for dinner every night. they donated their grocery savings to help build a well that will provide water for some of the one billion people on the planet without access to clean drinking water. the idea sounded intriguing to me. for one, i kind of like beans and rice. when we visit project manuelito in honduras, i'm usually a little envious of the plates of rice and beans that the kids often eat. (they feed us more 'american' food...it's a cultural thing) i was also drawn to the aspect of self denial and the opportunity to remember how blessed i am.

i tossed the idea around a bit and decided to make it a part of lent as a tangible way to disrupt my normal routine. once a day i eat rice and beans for my meal. i occasionally add some fruit on the side or something for dessert, but they are always the main dish.

the thing with this discipline is that it all sounds very poetic at first. moderation. unity. solidarity with the poor. a mutiny against excess. it is magical. for like three days. then it gets old.

i honestly didn't think i would get tired of this meal so fast. i'm a pretty simple eater. i don't usually mind bland food (in moderation apparently). it is nice having so many of my meals planned out ahead of time. but it is so unappetizing. a few times i've considered just skipping a meal instead of having to partake of them one more time. arguably, i am new at the whole cooking rice and beans thing and it took me awhile to get the proportions down. those little side dishes i'm allowing are sometimes the only thing keeping me sane.

even so, i'm pressing on. i remember a quote from the blog of the family that ate this for a month, "i mean, really, who am i to complain about eating rice and beans when there are millions of people who would be beyond thankful to know that they were getting rice and beans every night? who am i to think i deserve more than rice and beans?" i can tell you one thing, it has made me much more grateful for the food i do have. it is a small sacrifice among my many blessings, to remind me of His great sacrifice.

Read more

thoughts on lent

i grew up in a pretty traditional church. we sat in pews, sang music from hymnals, listened to reverend klingerman preach from an actual pulpit in full robe and stoll, and each week we recited the apostles creed. we also celebrated the season of lent. the cross was draped with a purple cloth and we had a mid-week service from ash wednesday to passion week.

i honestly can't tell you much about the service itself. the only thing i remember is that they took song requests. i always tried to pick mine ahead of time so i could be the first one with my hand in the air when they started calling for hymn numbers. also, we had a potluck dinner in fellowship hall each of those weeks...always a good time.

we moved to a different church when i was in high school and the season of lent, with the exception of palm sunday and good friday, was kind of forgotten. a few years ago it began to resurface around me. i started attending ash wednesday services and learning more about what it lent really means. i've grown to love the hauntingly beautiful phrase spoken during the imposition of the ashes..."remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return".

i don't feel like i'm very "good" at lent. some days i'm contemplative. other days i go through the whole day without ever pausing to think or be quiet. i've never even given up chocolate...which i'm pretty sure is the leading lenten sacrifice. one year i gave up tv after 10pm (i had a slight addiction to the king of queens). most years i don't give up anything. this year, instead of giving something up, i've chosen a few things to be intentional about. in a season that is meant for repentance, preparation, reflection, discipline and self-denial, i've come up with some practical ways to participate in these things. we'll see how it goes. i'm trying not to be my typical type-a self that agonizes over the 'rules' and details of it all. instead i just want to be more mindful of what is really important, and to accept the Lord's invitation to..."come back to me, with all of your heart".

Read more