June 9, 2009

this is a stick-up

last friday my super fabulous friends at john knox threw me the going away party of the century. it all started when i came back to the office after serving lunch to the residents and amber jumped out at me shouting, "this is a stick-up! don't say anything...do what i tell you!"

this is me being surprised/frightened


i followed her to the parking lot where i was blindfolded and told to put on a large shirt, which i couldn't look at. we drove for what felt like a long time, while amber continuously shouted [and yes, i do mean shouted] trivia questions at me, which were based on the various funny things that have happened at my job during the past three years. when we finally arrived at our destination and the blindfold was removed, i was greeted by the rest of my co-workers and a big sign welcoming me to my "i quit my job shower". [editors note: i had recently been lamenting about always throwing baby and bridal showers and never getting one, so they were really granting a wish]


not only did they feed me, which most people know is super exciting for me, they literally did shower me with a LOT of great gifts! i still can't believe how generous they are!


[in case you can't read it, the shirt says "today i quit my job at john knox village] thanks ladies...you're the best coworkers a girl could ever ask for.

June 5, 2009

my life in a nursing home

today was my last day at john knox village. it was bittersweet. i just celebrated my three year anniversary [officially making it my longest lasting job to date] and though the job has had its share of annoyances over the years, it also provided many fond memories.

i will miss my residents. i will miss the way they make me laugh and the sweet things they say. i'll miss they way they will sing and dance with you when they're in a good mood. i might even miss the way they make mean faces and occasionally shout at you when they're cranky.

funny things happen when you work with older people and i kept track of some of the best stories in a document titled "my life in a nursing home". i've shared some fun memories and funny stories in the past, and in honor of my last day, would like to amuse you with a sampling of the conversations that occur with our beloved residents...

me: would you like to hear some keyboard music today?
bill: what?
me: would you like to hear keyboard music?
bill: i can't understand what you're saying.
me: keyboard music.
bill: i should take a laxative.
me: okay then.

amber: robert, are you a veteran?
robert: yes
amber: what branch did you serve in?
robert: i don't know
amber: i heard that you served in the army
robert: that's definitely not true.
[editors note: it actually is true]

joyce: look what the bird did today
[shows me where the bird pooped on the back of her shirt]
me: gross
alberta: what happened?
me: ruby made a mess on joyce's shirt
alberta: you should just shoot it

amber: frank, would you like some fruit?
frank: no, i would like a suppository.

me: how's it going marie?
marie: well, i made it out of the den of iniquity.
me: great!

amber: lucille, i hear it's your birthday this month, what day is it?
lucille: june 23
amber: oh that's great, how old will you be?
lucille: well my sister will be 23. 
amber: oh wow, that's young. how old will you be?
lucille: i'll be 123...i think that's right. i don't know how to count anymore, it gets harder every day.

vivian rolls into our activity meeting, looks at amber and says: did you lose your pants? because i think someone left them on my bed.

mary: and your name is?
dia: dia
mary: zia?
dia: yep.
mary: and your last name?
dia: claxton
mary: casing? zia casing? are you sure that's your name?

June 1, 2009

pictures and pedicures

it's almost my friend sophie's second birthday, so we spent saturday morning documenting the occasion with a photo shoot. is this girl cute or what?!?

the fun continued in the afternoon with some pampering. our friend jen surprised missy and i with birthday pedicures [a bit of an early gift for me!] and it was my first pedicure ever! i do have to say, it's quite an enjoyable experience.

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